Won't anyone step up?

I always feel that I don't have the time to update my blog, and to be honest this is such a lie. Right now, I'm feeling as if I'm trapped inside this big bad world and everyone is out to get me, and no one really wants me to succeed in what I want to do. Which is inspire people. Even though it seems like I am getting knocked from every direction, the tough part is remaining positive through all the negative comments.

It's not just strictly against on my Youtube page, it's more like I can't seem to get past the fact that right now in my life I feel like I'm headed straight on a track to no where, and that's something that's killing me. Right now, I have a friend that is reading over my shoulder, and it's hard to try and get this creative block out with Nick sitting here, but if I could trust anyone inside my head, it might be Nick.

Long story short, I have a feeling that what I am goign to do is going to take a long time to try and concur my own self doubt, but as long as I know that I can be positive, I want to try and make this world a more positive place.

The other day, my friend Steven got a new shipment in from Live to Love Apperal, and looking at those items it really made me think that this world doesn't have enough love. Well, I guess I should come clean about something.

I really hated the trend that developed a few years ago, consisitng of peace signs and love everywhere. It drove me nuts to see girls that don't believe in peace or love wearing a shirt that said "love more" or a necklace with a peace sign on it. I understand that if you think something looks cute, you're going to wear it, but understand the reprecations that come along with wearing something that has a powerful message on it. It's a tough world to grow up, and an even tougher world to try and make a difference in, but as long as I remain strong and I try my hardest to come out on top and make people feel good, then I know that I would have died happy.

I guess that I'm saying a lot more than what was needed, and I'm sorry for how scatter brained this post seemed to be. I just needed to get out some demons that I have been feeling for a little while now. So, thanks everyone for the fact that I have been so blessed to have positive feedback. But thank you so much. I hope you all have a wonderful day!

xo
Jessica

A little bit about DMND

I started my project, Do Makeup Not Drugs with the intention of making people feel good about themselves. And what is coming from it is so much better than the feeling of just people feeling good about themselves.

It's not a matter of I want this project to get huge, and I want people to know about it- I just want to make a difference in people's lives and make sure that they are able to walk through life with their head held high- and the fact that someone now is actually trying to get help with this, I feel fantastic.

Life is a word that is made up of many different things. It's made up of happiness, and laughter, but it's also made up of some very ugly things; hatred, murder, sadness- all of those are something that if they weren't in our life, would make it a lot eaiser...or would it?

With a mix of quotes here, I've heard it said- how can you appreciate the good things in life unless you have the sorrow mixed in?

That get's me thinking.

I'm a firm believer in fate. I know that it's something that a lot of people believe in, but I really do believe that everything happens for a reason- even though when the unfair things happen to me I tend to wonder why exactly they happened to me.

So, long story short, I kind of suck at updating a blog, which I am going to update at least weekly, and now I will be off and try to find something to do while I wait between texts.

Have a wonderful night everyone
xo

What I love about Wednesdays.

Today's hump day, and let me tell you, I've been through some emotional rollercoasters today. I first got up, feeling not exactly the greatest as we still had school, and it wasn't going to be called off- so I figured that maybe hey, this was supposed to be something great in a mix of this curse.

I woke up on time and was able to get to school on time where I did the regular activities of the day. Of course though, being myself, I tended to instigate some sort of antic in PE, and by the end of it, we were playing badmitten with two birdies, and four people on each side. IT WAS CRAZY FUN! But, after that, we had choir, and the same usual things happened.
Oh, other than the fact that I made a complete ass of myself! I made a joke to one of my best friends about his girlfriend to find out that they had broken up on Friday, and not only that, it was a bad breakeup. I could feel my heart sink. But, him being the great friend that he was didn't judge me in the least! He just tried to tell me that it was okay, and tried to make me feel better, even though truthfully I should have been feeling as bad as I was!

Of course though, it couldn't have gotten better from that point. When I bot into homeroom, instead of doing homework like I should have, I decided to check my Youtube page, just to find out that people had been trolling around my page, calling me fat and what not. I tried not to let this get to me, but somehow those people got inside my mind and I got really bummed out the rest of the day, feeling self conscious about myself.

Here I am, trying to tell girls to feel good and beautiful about themselves when I find out that I got taken down by a few people that don't even matter to me. That's when it dawned on me though. Even though I am always going to find negative people in my life, telling me that I won't be able to do it, it's the positive people telling me I can succeed that really make a difference. And I hope that's something you all will follow as well!

Then, when I realized those positive things, my day started to get better. Slowly but surely, I was able to get from this funk that I was in! First, I finished up the documentary that I had started watching on Greta Garbo and I hadn't loved her before, I definately fell in love with that woman even more! She was just such a diva on the screen, and such a genuine and funny person off the screen. I need to buy some of her films to add to my collection.

As with everyone else, it's those eyes that make me fall in love with her even more.

So, after I finished up that amazing documentary, (which I recommend everyone to watch ((all you have to do is go to youtube and look up Greta Garbo documentary, and it's the first one)) I went to art where I let everything just sort of unveil. I learned quite a bit about art today in the short time that my teacher was instructing, and I fell in love with art even more. Did you know that most artists were homosexual?

That's Donatello's version of David!

Then, of course after school I finally was able to go up and work out for about an hour where I went home for a little bit, then headed back up to play practice where I got the scene of two of my best friends awkwardly kissing. Oh, I LOVE the theatre! But, I'm not being sarcastic, I adore it!

So, now, I'm leaving you all with a few words of wisdom that was able to help me get through today- "Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do."

I know this is a rather scatter brained post, but I promise that my next one will be better, and I should be able to upload around three videos, so I'm going to be busy, busy busy!!! Everyone have a wonderful day, and just keep remembering that you are beautiful, and every one of you was put here to do something! Make yourself happy today lovies<3

Yay! I finally made my first Vlog!

Hopefully by the end of the night, I might make my first video dedicated to those curvy, beautiful women out there!

Remember everyone that you are beautiful, and you have a voice, don't be afraid to use it!

Oh my goodness!

I just saw that it has been five days since I have updated my blog, and I could come up with a bunch of pathetic excuses like, I've been sick, I've been busy, but honestly- I have been sick, and I have been busy :[
How about though, I recap quickly on everything that has been going on in my life.
Thursday, I started to feel terrible in the evening, that horrible feeling you get in the back of your throat where you don't feel like anything is right, so I tried to get to sleep earlier.
Then Friday, my sickness hit me like a ton of bricks. I woke up with a terrible headache, feeling very tired, but still tried to go to school, just because I had already missed a day that week. So, I braved it out, and got dressed in some sweats and a hoodie (which made me feel super gross by the way! Ew! haha) and I then fell asleep first in PE while coach was doing the lunch count. Then, after that, I went to choir where I fell asleep in my chair, and in every class after that, I seemed to fall asleep in! Eventually, I fell asleep at lunch, and even in homeroom, I know! Crazy right?! I wish I was making this up! Then, I decided to go to the nurse's station, just to see if this thing would pass if I got maybe around an hour's nap. Nope. So, eventually, I just went home and took a five hour nap!
I was supposed to play my trumpet at the game later that night, but since I went home from school early, I wasn't able to! (bummer! :[) So, later on that night, my family and a few real close friends decided to have a last little shindig for HaYoung (I'll post more on that crazy girl later!). She was going to be going away again on Saturday, so we decided to hang out and have pizza at the local (awesome) pizza place! Then, after that, I immediatley went home and went straight to bed.
Next day, I woke up feeling awesome! Well not awesome, but I definately felt so much better! I went to play practice, then after that went home and took another huge nap... I know, I'm quite the napster :[ But only when I'm sick, I promise! Then, after I got up from that, I went down to hang out with my family for a few hours. It was fun, and just like our usual weekend routine. Gross food while watching a Redbox movie. This week's pick was Zombieland (which I adore!). Shortly after that though, I went upstairs and remained on the phone with Hannah until four in the morning. Oi! I had to be up for work in only a few hours anyway, so yikes hahah
Well, now we're into Sunday, and that was of course my funday.. Nooot. I spent eight hours at work, while it was Superbowl Sunday, so we had no one come into the movie theater. Needless to say, I just kind of walked around for a while and talked to my good friend Ben while he was there! He's such a sweetheart. But, while Emily was there, we went to our usual place to eat lunch, El Rancherito, and they got awesome new chairs in! I totally would have stole one if it well wasn't morally wrong, and two, wasn't illegal, and three, it wasn't so hard to get out of the door haha

I made sure to take a picture just for my blog :]
So, aside from the awesome chairs, that was my weekend in a nutshell! Not very exciting haha
Anyway, now it's just another Manic Monday! Today I woke up on time, and was kind of able to get out of the house on time. Where, I started to think of everything that I want to do for this blog. Now, this is more personal things, but here soon enough, it's going to be exactly what I'm wanting. But, for what I did today!
The highlights of my day was doing the dishes and playing with Claire!



I hope that you all know how special and beautiful each and every single one of you are. And I hope that you all know how beautiful you are in my eyes<3 Have a wonderful night everyone! I l♥ve you all!

Who would have thought that wearing shorts in the winter would be cold?

Last night I had an interesting conversation with one of my best friends, Hannah. She lives in West Virginia, but I tell you that this girl- she's one of the closest friends that I have, simply for the fact that I feel I could tell her anything and not a single word would be said about it, and she wouldn't cast the first stone in my direction. We had a little bit of a tiff, but things are better now, simply because this girl is awesome and is simply a fantastic friend.
The little tiff was about the fact that every time that she talks to her closest friend, Shannon, I get very, very jealous and upset. Why? I am a very, very dependant person. And I get attached to people too easily. It upsets me, but it's something that I feel I can't control. No, not ever since I was in my first serious relationship.
After a good long bit of talking, Hannah was able to calm me down from my hysteria, and we were up and running again like it was just another ripple in the water. So, last night seemed to be a pretty un-eventful night as far as me seeing people went.
Today though seemed to be just a little bit more interesting than what last night was. The day started off with the usual, shower, makeup, trying to find something to wear, etc. But, then I remembered that we are playing bad mitten in P.E. (simply my FAAAAAVORITE game to play in Physical Education!) So, I was super excited to start playing this game, that is until I found out that we really did suck. Steven and Abbey and I were all on a team, switching in and out, when we lost pretty badly. Now, I assumed that my legacy of being able to play this game since freshman year was going to be great, but now I'm soon realizing that through the years, I just can't be as great as I was.
So, after P.E. came choir. Nothing too interesting happened there, other than the fact that I was instructed to take my gum out of my mouth (which I had honestly forgotten was in there!) and I spent the rest of that hour singing my little heart out, per usual. After that though, came lunch.
A few things were running through my mind as I was going through the salad bar line, and it hit me. I really want to be a vegetarian again simply for the fact that I'm really not a huge fan of meat, and it's something that I feel pretty strongly about. Having been one for a couple of years, and trying to be as involved with Animal Rights and PETA as possible will start to do things to you. Plus, did you know that there is a hormone that they inject into chicken that is making our youth develop and age faster now?! I thought chicken was supposed to be the best for you!! So, I didn't get any meat on my salad, and now, I'm trying to see if I can avoid eating meat for the rest of the day. No bit deal, just something I want to try.
Third hour, I really didn't spend my time doing anything constructive at all. I started working on my film project, then Luke and I realized that we can't start importing the media onto the computer to edit until we actually get all of it done! Ugh, it was very frustrating!
Finally though, I was able to go to art where we now are working on Watercolors. Now, I may not like watercolors, but I do tell you that some people out there are too talented for their own good with watercolor! For example:

All I can say is WOW!
Lastly, I finally went home, and that's where all the good things started happening in my life. I went home, and while I was in the bathroom, I get a call from Craig. He asked me if I would come down and shoot their video for them. Of course I agreed to, so I started walking the couple of blocks it was away to where they needed me to be. As I'm walking, I have Mika in, just jamming along to it, when I see a few kids walking around, having suckers in their mouth and yelling at some adult like it was none of their business. That definitely should have been a red flag, but I still thought nothing of it. Then, as I met Steven up at his car, the two kids turn to us and start yelling at us. The first one, who is the instigator said loudly- "Hey, the kid in the hat, yeah, you were picking your nose." Mind you, I turned to them and said "Yes, we all do it." So, I shoved my finger in my nose, and I started walking to where we needed to film. After that, the kid's like "Sick! I dare you to eat it!" so, since I really didn't do anything, I just kind of shoved a different finger in my mouth and started walking up to the place where we were filming. Then, the kids start getting bad.
The first one, who's tongue was stained from the blue dum-dum they were eating called out to me "You're fat!" and I turned to them, laughed and said "I know!" So the kid just started going on, calling me a whale, and telling me not to break the place that I was stepping up on.
Honestly, if I had been younger, and not so well, content with myself, I would have been crushed, demolished, absolutely upset. But, for some reason, this child, with Satan in his eyes did not effect me. So, how about we'll call him Satan-Child started walking up toward us, still trying to cause a commotion when I, at this point, and just sick of it. I then turn to the kid and say "Hey, how about I go ahead and call the police, and they can come down here...you know, since we need some people to help with our video.." Satan-Child just tenses up and shakes his head, his eyes real wide and this almost sneer on his face as he just starts to back up. Then, like any good Satan-Child, his confidence was built right back up, and he started going on again. Now, I can't remember all what was said, but I do know that I knew his friend from teaching him guitar before. Not exactly the brightest star in the sky. (And let the record show that I don't think bad of these children, I just believe that this is the reason why we have crime now on the streets. Never let your children raise themselves parents!) So, after a while, a third child comes up, and asks us if they can be where we are filming. This kid was very polite. So we tell them that in around ten minutes, they can do what they want around here. He then grabs his Satan-Child friend, and they go off on their merry way.
I just wish that for some reason, these children had a home to go back to. You know ta if they're out there, when it's freezing cold, trying to start fights with people that are twice their age, they didn't exactly have the best home life to begin with.
So, in a way, I pity Satan-Child 1,2,&3.
Now, after ever thing is said and done, I start to head out on a two mile walk that I wanted to achieve simply because I wasn't able to go out to the YMCA and hop on the elliptical like what I usually do. I had my headphones in, and was going along with Mika too when people drove past me, hanging their body out of the window and started to wave to me and sped off.
Now I just wish that some people in this rinky dink town had better things to do with their time. Like, count corn, or check out soybeans. I'm just sick of constantly trying to fit in with these people. But not for long, no, not for much longer at all.
Long story short, today had been a pretty okay day. I learned that I'm never going to go jogging in Korean socks again. I have BLISTER CENTRAL! Eep! Anyway, I'm going to show you guy's how big of a dork I am when I'm working out.

That was taken a few minutes after my work out, but you get the idea.
I hope you guys have a wonderful day, and keep at a comfortable climate!
Love you all!!♥

Hello World!

This is my first post to a whole new world. A world of online blogging, pictures, videos, music, fashion, every little thing that has been crossing my mind for the past 17 years of my life. So, how about we start off with a little introduction?

I'm Jessica Belless from a little town in Illinois, but next semester I will be moving up to a bigger town in Illinois! (Our campus has around 30,000 students in it... That's approximately ten times the size of my little hole in the wall town; Our claim to fame is the fact we have the tallest totem pole East of the mighty Mississippi herself.) Now, going from a graduating class of fifty students, to a graduating class of over one thousand seems a little trippy. But, hopefully I won't get too homesick for the corn and soybeans.

A little bit about myself.
1.I love theatre. I've been on stage since I was 9 years old, and have been in every stage production that I could get my hands on in the area since then. Mostly, I've only been in musical theatre, but hopefully with the school that I am going to, I will be able to refine my craft and truly know what it is like to be an actor, instead of a hobbyist.
2.I love art. I've only been able to experience being in the class for one year now, and that's something that I completely regret. I've also found out that I can draw pretty well for someone that's never had training before. Though, it's not amazing, it's something that I am proud of.

3.I love fashion. I love reading about it, I love hearing about it, I love seeing it. Though, I am one of those people that has fallen under America's curse and I am over weight (though, I am working out almost every day now, and trying to eat healthy.) The thing that upset's me though, is when I want to find some sort of trendy clothing, there must be a law saying that you have to be skinny to be able to look good in something that skinny girl's are wearing. Granted, I'm not going to walking around in short-shorts and a halter top, but I will wear some leggings and an oversized sweater becuase I do have a proportionate body. Here, I'll be honest with myself. I'm a size 22 in womens. Have been for a damn long time, and it's something that I'm working on. Honestly, knowing that Marilyn freaking Monroe was a size 16 is something that I might try to achieve in my time.

4.I love Peter Pan. I'm currently reading the book, and so far, the action, adventure, and getting lost in Neverland is something I wish I could experience for real. There's a quote from the book that I've thought about getting perminantly attatched to my body saying - "If you see me forgetting you, just keep on saying 'I'm Wendy,' and I'll remember you." Beautiful, but it ties into the fact that Peter Pan has a beautiful soul, and his love for Wendy is eternal. I have such a crush.

5.I tend to spend a lot of time at the movie theater. One of two reasons. I work there. Yes, I'm employed at the movie theater, and I love every stinking minute of it. My co-workers are great, the manager's are great, and half of my friends work there as well. Also, another perk of the job is the fact I get to see all the movies that I want...for free! Yep, any new release I could go in and just watch without paying a dime. Sort of beautiful, isn't it? Well, not working there, the grease from the popcorn is just terrible for my face.


Well, there are five big facts about me, and I'm sure that with reading this blog, and following along with it, you'll find out other little tidbits of information about me. Until then, I hope that you all have a wonderful day, and try to keep warm! If you're hot, try to keep cool!
♥